BETRAYAL AS AN INITIATORY EXPERIENCE, by Janine Ma-Ree
The ultimate initiatory experience for the feminine is betrayal. The core expression of the feminine is love..initially she goes looking outside herself for love, romance, fantasy, conditioned to find the one and fairy tales..looking, searching, longing to find love. Until she is betrayed by her ideas of what love is, until she allows the knife of love’s betrayal to go right through her, opening her and all the way out the other side, where she discovers she is love.
One way of viewing the heart is there is an upper heart and a lower heart. The lower heart is the personal heart. This is where love, sadness, grief are felt in personal relating and connections. It is where we experience the vulnerability of our humanness. The upper heart is the universal heart. This is where unconditional love, joy bliss as a state of being is felt, not attached to any particular person. This is where we experience soul love, love for god/goddess.
Religions focus on developing upper heart love, however, when we experience love in the upper heart but not the lower heart we are in spiritual bypass. Everything is about love and light, a disconnected drugged out bliss state, but in denial and at the expense of the raw, primal, human feelings of the lower heart. If we live more from the lower heart disconnected from the upper heart, life becomes an unconscious reactive roller coaster of highs and lows of relationship drama, which is different from living an embodied life experiencing the fullness of life in all it’s textures.
For the heart to be alive and aflame with love it needs to be grounded in the here and now. In our humaness as well as connected to our soul and the love of the divine beyond ourself. This is when the whole heart is aflame with love, both the upper and lower heart are activated so love can be felt in its fullness, passion, gentleness, wildness and ferocity.
When we love someone else in a way that we lose ourself and our own connection we start to fall into enmeshment. We project love ont
o that person and they become in our illusion the source of us feeling love. This can be an external beloved, a parent, a child, a friend. This is the feminine relating core wound. (As opposed to the masculine core wound around mission/failure).
If we don’t feel the feelings in the lower heart all the way, we either loop and get stuck in them, or we armour against feeling them and our heart hardens and puts down emotional scar tissue. When we feel the feelings all the way, keep opening and opening until the heart breaks, the scar tissue rips away and creates an opening between the lower heart and the upper heart.
The key emotion that breaks through the scar tissue and opens this pathway is betrayal/abandonment. The feminine is about living as love and experiencing love. She is about relating, connection, bonding and attachment. Her soul journey is to know herself as love. Her heroines journey is to become enmeshed in love external to herself until she is finally betrayed by love. The betrayal wound that is experienced as being staked in the heart. She can either contract against this or open and let the stake be driven right through her heart opening the gate to the upper heart and activating it.
Feeling it all the way her lower heart opens and softens, scar tissue dissolves, vulnerability is her power and the lower heart also becomes activated. The two parts of the heart unite, she finally unites with her twin flame, and her heart becomes aflame with love.
She is the embodiment of love. And through the mystical connection to the divine, sourced from within, the twin flame, she has a direct connection to infinite love. Not from a place of spiritual platitudes and spiritual bypass, but embodiment of love that comes from the descent down into matter, through the body and the journey taken. She is no longer looking for love outside herself. She walks through life as embodied, pulsing, flaming love.
When she arrives, love arrives, and the world falls to its knees and sings in celebration, at her feet.