By Sharon Lyon

Beyond the banks of merger & marriage, monogamy or polyamory or any other paradigm, lays a land where the often stormy seas of outer relation-’ships’, can finally not just wash up, but land. Assured is the fact that this new ‘land’ wont have been your original or hoped for destination ~ why? Because the individual or half-being that left, is not the whole being who arrives.

The true yet ‘veiled’ purpose of the Relationship Journey, has as its goal to take you to the Heart of YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF.

As long as you are still trying to ‘work it out’ with one other or with multiple lovers or would be partners on the ‘outside,’ then you are still off course or more to the point, off center. As a conscious relator, you’re probably in the throws of recalculating your compass settings as you read this.

Grappling with paradoxical duality, countless pairs of opposites, the gender divide & seemingly endless opposing forces, the entrepid seeker eventually having scoured the four corners of the terrestrial ‘relationship’ experience comes to portal of the initially less desireable setting, straight for the Mysterious Center of one’s own Nature.

The shift required to open the gates, is embracing & owning your “inner” “masculine & feminine nature.” In truth these are your ‘primary partners’ as well as the ‘Pillars” of Your Inner Relational Temple. This is true no matter what your sexual orientation or how many lovers you do or don’t have. This is the real domain of “until death do we part.” In this light your inner couple is the monogamous pair and any outer relating is poly or ‘an affair!

The SOUL being androgynous chooses a male or female body to incarnate into, but dont be fooled, everyOne has the spectrum of masculine & feminine qualities ‘within’ to draw on.

Conscious relating IS getting to know your own masculine & feminine qualities, as you would a Lover. This is the BELOVED that Rumi speaks of, that so purely arises in us and as us, once we take our projections of our masculine or feminine nature, off the faces of outer lovers & begin to resonate & recalibrate ourselves with the Dual facets of the One GodHead we are.

Outer relating is designed to eventually take us to this new doorway but often not through the dawning realisation of our inner couple, but through various forms of disappointment in our outer relationships.

The key is to be disallusioned early! Accepting that there isn’t some one and may never be someone “out there’ or not for long anyway, whose going to ‘do it for you,’ or make you truly happy, helps with the course correction towards your own inner relational dance.

So much of the search for ‘love’ is the powerful urge-to-merge or drive to connect with your own inner lover and love nature.

The outer relationship journey sees us going looking for love in places outside ourselves where it genuinely isnt to be found in any really sustainable way. Its not meant to!

AUTHENTIC RELATING is when Whole Beings relate & play with whole beings. No-one’s in deficit, there are no projections or trades, no-’one’ is looking for anything .... except the delight of the meeting.

The Yoga of relating brings us from the outer gender dance, from the play of separation and the gender divide, to the door of a living romance within our own nature and with reality itself.

Our outer relationships in one view are our trainer wheels for the main act. In the resting back into the arms of your inner beloved, a deep smile & peace emerges as you feel the beloved in All Beings. Relating becomes a new ‘Showing UP’ in each new moment. The Art of Authentic Relating Is the new ‘performance ART’ of a genuine new LIFE.

Dive deeper into that topic and join our ISTA affiliated workshop A.R.T AUTHENTIC RELATING TEMPLE EXPERIENCE with Bruce Lyon, Janine McDonald and myself: